Norma is my Personal Assistant.  I wish you could meet her.  She’d win your heart in 5 minutes flat.  She’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met.

Norma’s from El Salvador. The reason she came to America is because she witnessed 3 men murder her husband’s cousin.  They gunned him down in front of her, right in the street, and then drove away.  They realized they’d left behind a living witness and started looking for her.

Norma received numerous very scary death threats and left her home for another village where she hid. The 3 men were relentless in pursuing her and were closing in on all of her hiding places.

Norma stopped going outside at all.   She hid and lived in constant fear.  It was emotional torment beyond endurance.

Finally, she took her 6-year-old son and, with her husband, they WALKED for 3 days to Guatemala.

From there she came to the United States.  She asked for and received asylum here.

When Norma started working for me, she didn’t speak much English.  I hired her because of the look in her eye.

What I saw was bigger than words.  I saw a depth of character that is rare.  I saw integrity, intelligence, love.  I saw unwavering dignity.  By very small actions I could tell she paid minute attention to detail, and knew this quality in her would be a match for my perfectionist tendencies.  (That insight turned out to be correct – she’s as much a perfectionist as I am.)

Hiring Norma was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. The billions of large and small ways she’s helped me have changed my life.

We take turns teaching each other.

I’ve learned from Norma that ALL things are possible, that all wounds CAN heal completely to leave no scars, that what doesn’t kill you DOES make you stronger, that there is NO LIMIT to love, that love can double and triple exponentially every day.   I’ve learned it’s the little things that give the greatest pleasures, the little moments that make you laugh, that make you admire, that you share with someone who understands you completely.  I’ve learned to stop and smell the roses.

Norma has an invincible conviction that LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.  I don’t know how many days I’ve heard her tell me that, whether those days are cloudy, rainy, or sunny.  Norma said to me once, “It doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life, whether it is good or bad, life is beautiful!”

I’m not the only one.  Everyone in my organization adores Norma. We all feel fortunate to have her in our lives.

When Norma started, and we didn’t speak each other’s languages, we used Google Translator.  Then I gave Norma a Spanish version of the training material I use when I teach Learning How to Learn, because I wanted her to know that she could learn ANYTHING.

Norma signed up for English classes and learned English so fast, it was lightning.  Now there’s no topic we can’t discuss.  In between talking about work we naturally gravitate to the deeper philosophical topics, especially love, friendship and happiness.

I’m delighted to be (very slowly) learning a little Spanish, especially because so many things sound better in Spanish than in English (especially when you get to roll the R’s, like when you say amarillo (yellow) or fuerte (strong).  I love the R in rosas when you say Hay muchas rosas en el mundo (There are many roses in the world).

Norma had a green card that allowed her to work in the US, but becoming a US citizen was a very BIG goal.  I helped her study for the test, but she deserves the credit because she was very easy to help. What an incredible student when it comes to self-study!  She sailed through the test, then the interview.

I got to stand next to her as she took the oath during the swearing in citizenship ceremony.  It was beyond moving.

Then, with Norma’s support and encouragement, her husband and her son also studied and passed their citizenship tests too.  What big days those were!

 

Norma continues her studies.  2 days ago she received a certification degree.  She’s a deservedly proud GRADUATE.  All of us at Effective Training Solutions celebrate her triumph.

There’s nothing she can’t learn, nothing she can’t do.

And, while her inner beauty is dazzling, here’s a photo of the beautiful woman she is, taken right before the big celebration after her graduation.

Taking turns being teacher and student with someone who has so much to teach, well I just don’t know how I got so lucky.

¡Te amo, Norma!  Congratulations! ¡Felicitaciones!

Love,

Ingrid

I’ve had jobs where I couldn’t wait for 5 o’clock to roll around, where I eagerly anticipated and counted the days to a 3-day weekend.

I was a waitress in a donut shop in Philadelphia. The place smelled unbelievably great, but it was not work I was cut out to do.  I waitressed in a pizza parlor in New Jersey where we waitresses also cooked.  I made a mushroom cheesesteak sandwich you would have remembered the rest of your life.  Summer jobs.  Nice people, the people I worked for and the people who came in.  But, I watched the clock.  And there were many days where it moved real slow.

Today is the Sunday of our 3-day Labor Day weekend.   I’ve been working on the patio with the cats. They’re not doing much, because it’s ridiculously hot, so their contribution mainly consists of finding shade near me, stretching out and looking gorgeous.  I’m not getting pestered to play like I usually am.

I sat down to plan a coaching program for a new client and design a new webinar. When I looked up, 3 hours had gone by and I never even felt it. I was so engrossed and happy, so delighted, so fulfilled, it felt like no time.

Tomorrow celebrates the workers in America.  The history behind it is permeated with the idea that their work is not fun or engaging, that they’re working for someone else who’s making a lot of money and not working nearly as hard.  It’s the whole idea of the disparity and tension between “labor and management”.

Given this historical perspective, it’s understandable the word labor was chosen for this holiday because the word means to “toil”, to do “hard or exhausting work”, possibly even strenuous manual labor. The derivation comes from the Latin word labor, which meant “to experience sinking, even pain, from struggling with a heavy burden”.  You see this concept of enduring and struggling as well when you hear that women “go into labor” delivering babies, not an easy job.

There’s another key definition of labor and that is to exert oneself.   That means to pour out your energy vigorously, energetically.

I know from personal experience exerting oneself can be EITHER totally unrewarding OR deeply fulfilling.

I think which it turns into (unrewarding or fulfilling) comes down to 2 additional elements:   PURPOSE and PASSION.

I’ve had the same job for over 30 years and never had a day where I watched the clock. My clients will laugh and tell you I don’t even look at the clock and frequently run over, whether it’s a workshop or a coaching session. I love my work so much, love the clients I get to work with, love my staff, I just get lost in doing it, completely carried away.

It’s true for the rest of my staff too.  We’ve frequently had a workshop end at 5:00 where participants stayed till 7 PM, as energetically engaged as they were in the morning.  We never tell them to go.

The difference is, as good as I was making cheesesteak sandwiches or pouring coffee and serving donuts, these jobs for me personally didn’t align with a purpose I was passionate about.  I did work with people who are passionate about it.  I remember a woman at the donut shop who had waitressed there for over 25 years and loved every second.  She remembered everyone’s name and lit up every face that came in.   She made pouring coffee look like art.   She reminds me of the 85-year old waitresses at Vahl’s restaurant in Milpitas who absolutely love you, love their work and make you feel like you’re at your grandmother’s table.  They’ll never retire.

So, this Labor Day holiday was intended as a break from work that people didn’t really WANT to be doing, work they didn’t feel they were doing for themselves, work that didn’t align with their true purpose in life, work they probably were doing because they needed the money and it was the best job they felt they could get.  You add all that up, OF COURSE you’re going to watch the clock and feel like you can’t wait for 3-day weekends.

One time I was working a couple hours on a holiday and one of my staff came in.  I asked her, “Don’t you want to take a day off?”  She smiled brightly at me and said, “Dreams don’t take days off.”  We both grinned and had a splendid afternoon.

I hope you’re enjoying this weekend very much.  I also hope for you, that each day you do go to work, it captures your heart, your imagination, your dreams … because it’s work that completely fulfills your purpose and your passion.

And now, it’s cooled down here considerably … time for a bike ride.

Love,

Ingrid

 

 

 

These 2 blew me away on my morning run today.  Their antics and affection for each other pulled me over like gravity.  The owner told me they love each other so much, they always have to be touching.

They’re not from the same litter, nor even the same parents.  They met about 8 months ago and have been inseparable.

Aren’t relationships like this just the best?  When you meet someone and it’s instant best friends?

It so makes me believe in chemistry.  The chemistry between living beings, whether we’re talking about dogs or people.  There’s always chemistry, isn’t there?  Whether it’s good chemistry or bad, there’s always chemistry between 2 living beings.

Isn’t it interesting that this chemistry is always instant?  It happens in a split second.

And, sometimes, we get very lucky.  When all you want to do is play, love and relax on a sun-dappled path, always touching.

May you meet many people in your life with whom you have immediate beautiful chemistry.

Love,

Ingrid

 

 

I was swept off my feet by this poet and this book.  There’s powerful magic in this poetry. I’m one of the most optimistic people I know, but even I see daily living can batter our spirits and drain some of the magic out of our lives.  This poetry replenished my soul.

“Replenish” means to fill up again, from the Latin re- again and plenus – complete, fullness.  It has the same root as the word “plenty” which means “abundance, profusion.”

This poetry inspired a powerful belief in myself and restore the beauty of the world around me.  It filled me with potent confidence that anything (and everything) is possible.

I read a little every day, just to restore magic and beauty into my life.  Here’s one poem I really like:

Joy for the Long Run

There is nothing more beautiful

Than the native divinity

Of a spirit alive in full,

Fulfilling his own destiny.

Able to have outrageous fun,

Living’s magical harmony.

Unrestrained joy for the long run.

Glimpse of what it is to be free.

I love that feeling – unrestrained joy for the long run.

This is Louis Alan Swartz’ 2nd volume.  The first, Constructed of Magic, is wonderfully good also.  I love having magic in my life.

Just in case you do too, here’s a link for the magic:

Love,

Ingrid

Well, I had a whole bunch of stuff I needed to get done this weekend. The problem was, it was sunny.

And I found myself completely immersed in watching Jazz, my 6 month-old tabby, chasing butterflies and bugs on the patio.  “Let’s play!”  is Jazz’ perpetual life motto.   He’s spring-loaded with kitten energy, gets into everything, is quick as lightning, chases anything that moves, jumps straight up 4 feet off the ground.  In short, Jazz is a non-stop source of make-you-laugh-out-loud kitten entertainment.  As I write this, he is stalking a bee.

The amount of pleasure you can get watching this little guy is beyond ridiculous. I couldn’t stop.   He had me laughing and on the edge of my seat.  Watching him was way more enjoyable than anything I had planned. And then I started to feel like I was wasting time.  Uh oh.  I had it drummed into me from an early age that wasting time was very bad.

So I did what I often do when I want to understand something.   I went to the dictionary, specifically Webster’s New World College Dictionary, second edition, my favorite. And I looked up the word “waste “.

This was promising to be a fun afternoon diversion because there were 23 definitions.  I really wanted to understand this word, so I read all of them.

It was rather eye-opening. Waste comes from the Latin word vastus meaning “empty”. The main concept of waste is to use up or spend without real gain.  I had never thought about the “without real gain” part.  Somehow I always thought of wasting time as simply not doing what I was supposed to be doing. But, now that I think about it, much of my life, especially my early life, when I was told I was wasting time, it was always about my not doing somebody else’s idea of what I was supposed to be doing.  Frequently it wasn’t about my idea of what I was supposed to be doing at all.

Frankly, in school they don’t let you have too many of your own ideas about what you’re supposed to be doing.  They tell you you’re too young to know.  They structure every minute for you without consulting you too much.

Which, by the way, is one reason why people who have a lot of their own ideas drop out of school. They get tired of doing what someone else thinks they’re supposed to be doing and start doing what they think they’re supposed to be doing, which makes them not fit in anymore. Frequently, they don’t care about fitting in and go on to become successes.

So, studying the definition of “waste” in the dictionary, I realized that, whether or not I’m wasting time has to do with whether or not I’m gaining anything, whether or not I’m getting anything out of it.  I realized that only I can decide that.

I realized that much of what I thought was wasting time actually wasn’t.  Because I was gaining so much happiness and pleasure out of doing it.  It was far from empty.  I realized that, for me, the true definition of wasting time is doing what someone else thinks I’m supposed to be doing.

It was with a great sense of relief I went back to playing with the conquistador Jazzy Tabby, listening to music and enjoying the sunshine on my patio. It truly was a day spent doing the opposite of wasting time.

I hope this helps you get great pleasure from your own “watching a kitten chase bugs on a sunny patio” moments.  May you have many of them.

Love,

Ingrid

 

Confidence is complete trust.  It comes from the Latin com, meaning complete and fidere, meaning to trust.

Self-confidence means full belief and trust in your own abilities.  No doubts.  No uncertainties.  No wavering.  No needing to know what anyone else thinks.  Certainty.

Courage is a quality of mind that enables you to encounter danger or difficulty with firmness, without depression of your spirits, with strength.  It’s bravery in the face of danger. Danger means you’re at real risk of harm or injury, you’re removing yourself from protection or shelter, you’re exposing yourself, you very possibly could get seriously hurt.  A difficulty, very simply, is something that’s hard.  It’s not easy.  It’s hard.

Courage came from the Latin word cor which meant heart, the innermost part of our body that keeps us alive.

So, what’s the difference between the two?

Courage is way beyond confidence.  It’s a staying true to your heart in the face of danger, difficulty, doubt, uncertainty, criticism.

To have courage, you first have to know what is in your heart.  You have to know yourself, who you really are.

Many people live lives that don’t require courage.  Lives that embrace security, dodge difficulty, lives devoted to predictable outcomes, dedicated to approval and group agreement.

Lack of courage in personal relationships creates married couples who go out to dinner and have nothing to say to each other.

Large corporations preach confidence but discourage courage.

Entrepreneurs manufacture courage as their first product and nurture their dreams with it.

We admire courage possibly more than any other human trait, much more than we admire confidence.

I know many confident people.  Not so many who have courage.

That’s why I help people develop it.  I take them beyond the confidence they’re seeking and help them cross into the realm of living, and fully expressing, the courage of their convictions.  They’re perfectly capable of it; they just need a helping hand to bring it out.

A life of courage is much greater than a life of confidence.  The rewards have greater power.  The meaning you create is more worthy.  You are bigger.

Your dreams require courage.  Your imagination feeds on it.

For everyone, it awaits within, it is the ever-beating heart of our character.

Love,

Ingrid

 

Today is International Jazz Day.

Jazz is all about the human soul, music born in the freedom-crushing cradle of plantation slavery, a defiant child of relentless injustice, proclaiming emancipation of the human spirit well before the chains were cast aside.

No one agrees where the word “jazz” comes from.  Every source has a different story.  But it’s the perfect word for this music.  Jazz just sounds so jazzy. The name alerts you to music that has no boundaries; makes you sit down and expect music that’s allowed to defy limits.

Duke Ellington said it well:  “Jazz is a good barometer of freedom… In its beginnings, the United States of America spawned certain ideals of freedom and independence through which, eventually, jazz was evolved, and the music is so free that many people say it is the only unhampered, unhindered expression of complete freedom yet produced in this country.”

There are so many different kinds of jazz, it’s easy to find jazz lovers who like completely different music.  I have a friend who only likes New Orleans Dixieland, nothing else.  I have another who only listens to Charlie Parker.

Me, there’s a bunch of jazz I like.  I wake up every morning to Alisa Clancy’s Morning Cup of Jazz on KCSM, our Bay Area’s Jazz Station. Alisa starts at 6 am west coast time.  You can hear her at www.KCSM.org.  Best radio DJ I’ve heard in my life.  I always wake up grinning, and often laughing.

Jazz is extraordinary in that it’s the only music where each musician gets to play anything they want during their solo, they get to make it up, create from scratch, pure improvisation in the moment, while the other musicians listen respectfully, let them take the lead, follow and contribute to their sound.  Jazz is the ultimate in playing as a team … each person creating the unexpected, totally in the moment improvising, building off each other .

As Wynton Marsalis said:  “Jazz means working things out musically with other people. You have to listen to other musicians and play with them even if you don’t agree with what they’re playing. It teaches you the very opposite of racism and anti-Semitism. It teaches you that the world is big enough to accommodate us all.”

Being a jazz musician is one of the bravest careers there is.  Tell me another career that takes such courage!  My hat is off in gratitude to all of them, to the entire pantheon of greats from days gone by to those playing and singing today.   They fill my soul with every emotion, and ultimately optimism and triumph.  Today we celebrate the victory of the human spirit they bring to life in their music.

Here are some songs I love in case you’re in the mood for celebrating today with some jazz:

• Wynton Marsalis 2^nd Line:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMDR9bLeQM
• Duke Ellington Jeep’s Blues: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxCo8BjKwHA
• Dave Brubeck Take Five:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHdU5sHigYQ
• Nine Simone Feeling Good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5Y11hwjMNs
• Ramsey Lewis The “In” Crowd: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyNRmZiRd9g
• Hugh Laurie Let Them Talk:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TniQraQd1TA
• Cleo Laine Wish You Were Here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOBban4jprc
• Mahalia Jackson I’m Going to Live the Life : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQYnaJwszW0
• Pete Fountain’s Basin Street Blues:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61WTC4vTot0

Wishing you a jazzy week ahead!

Love,

Ingrid

Kind in the dictionary is defined as, “sympathetic, friendly, gentle, tenderhearted, and generous” as in, “He was a strong leader, yet kind.”

It also means, “type” as in, “What kind of pizza is that?” or “Humankind” (the type of living being that is human).

Both uses are valid.

What’s interesting is the derivation, the history, of the word kind.  It has the same derivation as the word kin, which means “relatives or family.”  And the same derivation as kindred, which in addition to meaning “family,” also means, “having the same beliefs or attitudes” as in, “We’re kindred spirits.”

The word kind began by meaning family.  It had an additional meaning of people like us, meaning, our kind.  And it’s to these people (our kind of people) we are sympathetic, tenderhearted and generous.  In other words, our kindness flows more easily or naturally toward people who are similar to us, people who share our history, our views, people who feel like “our family”.

The more we see similarity between ourselves and others, and especially our similarity with all humankind, the more kindness we have in the world.

I’ve been studying ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt.  When I compare how much kindness was shown “outsiders” at that time to what I see today, despite a pessimistic media, I see a marked difference in understanding, compassion and willingness to help, a tremendous advance in global kindness and generosity.

Yes, we have a long way to go.   And seeing our similarities surely helps.

I have faith we’ll arrive.

Love,

Ingrid