On a morning run earlier this week I stopped to talk to one of my neighbors. She was upset by a conversation she just had with another neighbor about a remodel going on next-door. That conversation ended badly and stayed with her, ruining her mood.
I listened and as she talked, she felt better. After a while she was laughing about it and then we were both laughing. She looked MUCH happier by the time I ran off.
Yesterday she emailed me that she said Hello to the other neighbor who then came over to talk to her. She got to tell that neighbor things she didn’t know and the neighbor sincerely apologized. She felt soooooo much better.
She thanked me for listening and said talking to me was “healing.”
It got me thinking how vital these healing conversations are in our lives.
There’s a woman named Anita who lives in the village down the hill from where I live. I run into her all the time at the farmer’s market and we get into some long conversations. She’s one of the easiest people in the world to talk to that I’ve ever met. When she asks me how I’m doing, I find myself telling her everything. She tells me everything. I met her during a time of my life that had great pain. Every conversation I had with her, I felt restored. When her husband and profound soulmate died, I was there for her and she looked brighter and happier after each conversation.
The word heal means restore to soundness, to make whole again.
Soundness means firm, solid and strong, based in truth.
The word heal is older than written language and even originally meant to make whole.
I’m an extremely happy person living a very happy life. But even the best day for the best of us can have challenges, misunderstandings, injustices, anxieties and small wounds.
I live a pretty adventurous life, take many risks, meet many people, extend myself into unknown territories. I live a pretty rough and tumble existence. I’m good at getting up after a fall, brushing myself off and getting back in the saddle.
I generally ignore the bruises until I find myself talking to someone and notice I suddenly feel a whole lot better than I did.
I’ve noticed there are certain people that, after I talk with them, I feel more whole, more sound, I’m filled with greater well-being. I feel restored. I didn’t even notice I needed it until suddenly I feel really GOOD.
Just in conversation.
Isn’t that amazing? That just in simple conversation I can feel this way? It floors me.
It’s clearly the way they listen to me, their affinity for me and the depth of their understanding. Understanding isn’t a given quantity, there can be less of it or more of it.
There are certain people who manufacture understanding in GREAT quantities. It’s not so much that they bend over backwards to express their understanding, because they don’t.
It has nothing to do with words. Understanding is invisible to the naked eye. It’s not something we project. It’s not something that can be faked.
When it’s real, I immediately perceive it with my spiritual and emotional senses and perceptions. It affects me physically too because I visibly relax.
Even though it’s invisible, it’s bigger and more real than anything in the physical universe.
And it heals.
There’s so much to say about this subject, isn’t there?
I have a number of people in my life with whom conversations are healing. I talk with them easily and openly. And I am profoundly grateful to each one of them.
May you have MANY healing conversations along your journey!