I would like to announce the grand opening of the newest deer restaurant in the Oakland hills.
My deer, I mean dear, friend Crystal planted collards for me because she knows how much I love them. It’s been thrilling to watch them grow. 24 hours ago these five stalks below proudly displayed beautiful large, lush, deeply green collard leaves. As I went to work yesterday, I was thinking I would harvest them for my dinner and was full of anticipation for their sweet flavor.
However, by the time I returned, it was clear someone else had the same thought.
This is the 3rd time this has happened, not just with the collards, but also with the kale and several of the beautiful flowering plants in my new garden.
I looked around and realized, Yes! This was the perfect location for a brand new deer restaurant. I’ve always had deer in my yard. They come to rest and Mama deer like to raise their young ones here. But they usually stuck with the ivy, which didn’t seem to require an entire restaurant as it seemed more of a snack food.
So, with this new development, I am happy to announce the official grand opening and to make a point of saying it’s already a success!
Only organic, local, and the freshest ingredients are served, even fresher than ‘farm to table’. Family-friendly. Casual, don’t dress up, just come as you are. Open air dining. Great views.
As an aside, this is not an exclusive restaurant. Already many butterflies, hummingbirds and bees are drinking nectar and dining here too. I spotted a raccoon, but I think he was after the cat food. All are welcome.
I’m sure you’ll see 5-star Yelp reviews as soon as the deer get online
Position open for a Deer Maître D’.